Dear 2020... I love you but I hate you

I love you for making us stop and be thankful and see our blessings

I hate you for the families who have lost loved ones

I love you for the memories I’ve made with my goddaughter this year

I hate you because wearing a mask out and about is the new norm

I love you for being able to work from home and enjoy time with my husband

I hate you for those who have lost jobs during this pandemic

I love you for giving me the best neurosurgeons and keeping me safe during my surgery

I hate you because I had to have brain surgery at all

I love you for giving me that special friend who took time to pray with me as we traveled to Duke

I hate you because I never imagined myself going through any of this

I love you for the unique birthday memories made with my husband

I hate you for not letting me have him a surprise party

I love you for allowing me to be more present with my three stepchildren and see how lucky I really am

I hate you because they’ve had the worst time job hunting; graduating in 2020 couldn’t be the worst timing

I love you for having the best ‘ex’ boss a girl could ask for, someone who now is like family

I hate you for not giving me a few more months of worthy advice and time with him - thank you pandemic

I love you for giving me Fridays to make extra time for my goddaughter and two special boys

I hate you for making kids go virtual almost all year long for school

I love you for the new friendships I’ve developed and for showing me the special people who care and go the extra mile

I hate you because I needed that extra love, care and support

I love you for keeping my family safe during this pandemic

I hate you for those that haven’t been so lucky

I love you for the lessons and blessings you’ve taught my little sister; she is now the earring guru

I hate you because she did this to use her time wisely after not being able to see friends during a pandemic

I love you because I was able to find TP finally in June

I hate you because it wasn’t an easy scavenger hunt

I love you for meal delivery and Instacart convenience

I hate you for the restaurants and stores who have suffered so much this year due to gathering limitations

I love you for sending me a beautiful peace lilly, something that bloomed into the greatest friendship

I hate you that I was ill in the first place, it’s been a long few months

I love you because I became a godmother to the most precious little girl

I hate you because I wasn’t able to be there for her welcoming

I love you for giving me the best coworker I could ask for to help fill my gaps

I hate you because I’m missing work at all

At the end of the day, 2020 I think I love you more than I hate you! I love you because my family is safe, I survived the scariest surgery of my life, I have been able to make the most precious memories with my goddaughter, two special little boys and one of my longest, best of friends, I have seen white grounds (as of this morning), I couldn’t be more in love with my husband, I have parents who are proud of me, I have three stepkids who are growing into wonderful people, I made the sweetest friend this year who I’m so thankful for, I have the best coworkers who show their support during challenging times, and I couldn’t ask for better in-laws who love me just the same as if I were their own!

I have so much to be thankful for and I wouldn’t be taking the time to write this if I wasn’t at home recovering and reminiscing on all the things I don’t want to change! I want to continue to be more present in the moment, and I want to make time for things that matter most. I wouldn’t want any of these things if 2020 didn’t happen so I guess I do love you more than hate you 🥰